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Barsoom News congratulates the great people of Mars on their successful efforts to again repel another invasion from their blue-green sister planet. The most recent attack came in the form of the Mars Incursion Vehicle, Victory, which was shot from the Martian sky while deploying its advanced landing system, leaving the vehicle to crash into the surface at nearly escape velocity. A small underground village was destroyed by the impact, but Martian officials report that nearly all civilians were successfully cleared from the area. "We've seen a lot of attacks from Earth, and they just never think these things all the way through," one Martian Space Defense commander was observed to say.

The failure comes as yet another disappointment to the Terran authorities, who have launched some successful landers, but have suffered setback after setback in their efforts to catalog, map, and overrun Martian defenses. Worse yet, these failures continue to be expensive; the most recent represents a loss of more than two billion US dollars, a price that ailing country can ill afford after its ruinous conflicts with its own neighbors on the watery planet.

Martian officials stressed that while this invasion was halted, they must remain vigilant against attacks from their nearby neighbor. "We must be ever vigilant. Failures do not deter them, and they simply cannot be bothered to respond to diplomatic overtures. We fear the only deterrent will ultimately be invasion, an unpleasant duty we expect the Terrans will force upon us."

Here at Barsoom News, we hope that day will not be soon. Until then, Watch The Skies!


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