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For This Year's Miss April
Apr. 11th, 2006 09:15 pmDear California,
We give up.
You have been coming up here and driving up our property taxes for decades, buying our hard-built houses with the ill-gotten gains of your booming, out-of-control economy. Imagine, that money comes from building gadgets and making moving pictures, instead of being chopped down or dug up, as God intended!
We hereby formerly acknowledge defeat. We will no longer sit here and jealously guard our borders, intent on keeping you from moving up 'to share the experience.' Instead, we will move en masse and annex the region you have previously referred to as 'Northern California.' Henceforth, it shall be known as 'Really, really Southern Oregon,' or, to some of our most special friends, simply 'Humboldt,' in honor of those few Californians who understand how to properly make a living, through simple toil and the fruits of the Earth.
And we're bringing our Weather.
Sincerely,
Oregon and Washington
We give up.
You have been coming up here and driving up our property taxes for decades, buying our hard-built houses with the ill-gotten gains of your booming, out-of-control economy. Imagine, that money comes from building gadgets and making moving pictures, instead of being chopped down or dug up, as God intended!
We hereby formerly acknowledge defeat. We will no longer sit here and jealously guard our borders, intent on keeping you from moving up 'to share the experience.' Instead, we will move en masse and annex the region you have previously referred to as 'Northern California.' Henceforth, it shall be known as 'Really, really Southern Oregon,' or, to some of our most special friends, simply 'Humboldt,' in honor of those few Californians who understand how to properly make a living, through simple toil and the fruits of the Earth.
And we're bringing our Weather.
Sincerely,
Oregon and Washington
